bound to this couch, i lie in waiting
watching wind blown memories slip by my window sill
i can't fall asleep, voice in my head disturbs me
waking nightmares keep, have my cries fallen on deaf ears
can you hear me or am i....
talking to myself again, is there anybody listening
are you taking this in, am i wasting my breath
tell me, is the wind in your sails worth everything you give
are you looking for something, forgiveness
i leave it up to you, i guess i'm better off removed
because the situtations growing too thick,
in your hands
could it have been something i said,
or was it something that i did
did i ruin my chance, have you written me off
tell me where did i cross the line,
and can i work my way back this time
will i always regret this decision
i leave it up to you,
i hope you find a good excuse because
i've given about all that i can give,
in your hands
are you taking this in, am i wasting my breath
did i ruin my chance, have you written me off
[background]
i could try to count the times that i've been through this in my mind,
but i'm running out of fingers and i don't have that much time
are you taking this in, am i wasting my breath
did i ruin my chance, have you written me off
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Incubus--I Miss You
I Miss You lyrics
To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you
To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same, as I do, is a Three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me
That I can't explain
So would I be out of line, If I said
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on, the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days, but already I am wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know, that I care
And I miss you
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Another random story...
I stared down at my meal and thought it was strange that after 10 hours of straight work I have no desire to eat. Sitting in the restaurant my partner looked half asleep. You could see his moustache slowly move as he slowly chews his food. All that changed in a second when the radio yelled out, "Shots fired. Officer down. All units respond immediately". As fast as the call came out we were in the black and white with lights flashing and siren screaming. The tires screeched as I avoided traffic in the crowded streets of the evening hours. Neither I nor my partner said anything as our training kicked in and we ran head first into potential danger. All we could think about is one of our brothers in uniform was down and possibly more people are in danger.
When we arrived at the scene everything seemed to stand still. We could see the downed officer huddled behind his car grabbing at his bleeding leg. The house we pulled up to was a white house in the middle of a crowded street. The front was covered by its iron security door and the windows were covered by bars. The lawn was dead and weeds reigned supreme. I rushed to the downed officer with my first aid kit from the car and began to bandage his leg. My partner started asking questions of what happened while his gun pointed toward the house.
"I received a call of a domestic disturbance. Woman possibly beaten by her husband. When I showed up shots rang out from the house. I didn't have a chance to react before I was hit" the downed officer stated.
As we aided our fallen friend officers showed up in a large show of force. Someone shot their brother and that isn't expectable. Within in minutes that seemed like hours the entire street was covered in officers and cars blocking the street. The house was surrounded and now we have a lunatic sitting inside who isn't afraid to shoot first.
Our guns pointed toward the house as we waited for our orders. We weren't in a huge rush to run into a house where a insane suspect was out for blood. Then the worst happened. The door opened to a slight crack and a little girl appeared. You could see a gun behind her and I went tense.
"I have children in here and if you come in you won't find them alive!" yelled the lunatic that brought us all here.
That's something that no one in their right mind wants to see. A small child in harms way.
No one said anything but all hand guns at the ready waiting for that moment where this house becomes a war zone.
Our on scene commander was making attempts to begin the hostage negotiation but it didn't seem to be going well and the stress showed through onto his face.
The sun began to fall as night started to cover the street. The only lights soon would be flash lights and flashing lights from the squad cars.
As night set in the situation was tense. No one moved and everyone's minds were on those little kids. No one wanted those innocent children to be in harms way but at the time we were waiting on our SWAT to take care of someone who had no right to hurt these children.
When we arrived at the scene everything seemed to stand still. We could see the downed officer huddled behind his car grabbing at his bleeding leg. The house we pulled up to was a white house in the middle of a crowded street. The front was covered by its iron security door and the windows were covered by bars. The lawn was dead and weeds reigned supreme. I rushed to the downed officer with my first aid kit from the car and began to bandage his leg. My partner started asking questions of what happened while his gun pointed toward the house.
"I received a call of a domestic disturbance. Woman possibly beaten by her husband. When I showed up shots rang out from the house. I didn't have a chance to react before I was hit" the downed officer stated.
As we aided our fallen friend officers showed up in a large show of force. Someone shot their brother and that isn't expectable. Within in minutes that seemed like hours the entire street was covered in officers and cars blocking the street. The house was surrounded and now we have a lunatic sitting inside who isn't afraid to shoot first.
Our guns pointed toward the house as we waited for our orders. We weren't in a huge rush to run into a house where a insane suspect was out for blood. Then the worst happened. The door opened to a slight crack and a little girl appeared. You could see a gun behind her and I went tense.
"I have children in here and if you come in you won't find them alive!" yelled the lunatic that brought us all here.
That's something that no one in their right mind wants to see. A small child in harms way.
No one said anything but all hand guns at the ready waiting for that moment where this house becomes a war zone.
Our on scene commander was making attempts to begin the hostage negotiation but it didn't seem to be going well and the stress showed through onto his face.
The sun began to fall as night started to cover the street. The only lights soon would be flash lights and flashing lights from the squad cars.
As night set in the situation was tense. No one moved and everyone's minds were on those little kids. No one wanted those innocent children to be in harms way but at the time we were waiting on our SWAT to take care of someone who had no right to hurt these children.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
I hate driving in winter storms in Utah...
So Utah has been hit by another winter storm. Yesterday the big storm came in and Mother Nature showed her furry. Well today you would think the main roads in a main city would be plowed and safe for people to drive on. You would think tons of salt would cover the roads so that ice would be minimal. Well if you are thinking that is the case then you haven't had to drive ANYWHERE in Utah today. It is insane out there! Its the middle of the day and I haven't seen snow falling for hours but the roads are still iced over and people are still slipping and sliding on main streets!
Then you have those super amazing drivers who think, "Hey this isn't so bad I'm going to go speeding down the road while all you suckers go slow". Later you see that person sliding into another car or into a snow bank. Congratz dude, you have now learned a lesson...till next year when you do it again.
One really cool thing we saw was a Toyota Tundra towing a City bus out of the snow and off a hill. That's pretty impressive. Hopefully more people will have some acts of kindness in helping others out of their plights in this horrible unplowed and unsalted road of Utah. Be safe out there!
Then you have those super amazing drivers who think, "Hey this isn't so bad I'm going to go speeding down the road while all you suckers go slow". Later you see that person sliding into another car or into a snow bank. Congratz dude, you have now learned a lesson...till next year when you do it again.
One really cool thing we saw was a Toyota Tundra towing a City bus out of the snow and off a hill. That's pretty impressive. Hopefully more people will have some acts of kindness in helping others out of their plights in this horrible unplowed and unsalted road of Utah. Be safe out there!
Friday, November 26, 2010
It's a nice feeling...
Today is a super slow day at work. So here I am bored sitting at my computer looking at my blog and thinking about things going on in my life. I'm pretty grateful for a lot in my life right now and last night I got to reflect on that. Last night after my family all parted to go home I went home to an empty apartment. Sometimes its nice to have some peace and quiet but on a holiday it was just kinda strange to be home alone. I'm very grateful to have loving family and friends so I know I won't have to spend a holiday alone. I'm grateful to have the knowledge that I will be with my family for eternity and one day I will be sealed to a beautiful woman so that we may spend our holidays together. Its a nice feeling to know you aren't ever truly alone. I finally have come to a point in my life where I'm happy where I'm at. I'm not making crazy amounts of money at work but I enjoy my job. I'm not graduating with a masters but I have a lot of knowledge and have a desire to keep going to school. I feel like my spiritual life has grown a lot and that makes me feel great. So things aren't the most amazing they can be but I'm happy where I'm at and looking forward to making them better.
Friday, September 24, 2010
I will never stop loving...
Things are interesting. You can never tell how life will turn out and you can never know why they turn out the way they did. For some people they will wander in this fog their entire life not knowing what direction they are heading or for what reasons. I'm pretty dang happy to know the reason I'm here and where I'm going when it's all over. Hopefully it being all over won't be in the near future but I'll take what I can get. Right now there have been many changes in my life and if they are for the better I'm unsure about right now because they are just so recent. I've hurt people in my past and I've been hurt. I've felt happiness and brought happiness to others. The point I'm getting at is that the crazy life we live in is filled with many ups and downs. The ups are great and the downs can seem like the most miserable we will ever be. Luckily though we will never be given more then we can handle. That was promised to us all. It may seem we are unable to handle such circumstances but in the end we will come out better for it. I hope for us all that we hold our heads high and help those in need. There is no better feeling then helping someone in need. I promise. But one thing is for sure. I will never stop loving. Doesn't matter what happens, love will always be a strength to others and yourself. Love one another.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Temperament Report...
Alright well my Grandma wanted me to take one of those tests that tell you what career you would excel in. So today while wasting time at work I took one that told me what type I am.
The test i took was the Keirsey Temperament Sorter -II and it said that my type is Guardian.
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have a natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply-- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted.
So that's the little response thing it gave me for taking the online test. I think its interesting and pretty spot on. There are some things I don't exactly see as being true to be but for the most part its pretty true. I do believe I'll be doing one of those thankless jobs in my life and look forward for getting started on that.
The test i took was the Keirsey Temperament Sorter -II and it said that my type is Guardian.
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have a natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply-- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted.
So that's the little response thing it gave me for taking the online test. I think its interesting and pretty spot on. There are some things I don't exactly see as being true to be but for the most part its pretty true. I do believe I'll be doing one of those thankless jobs in my life and look forward for getting started on that.
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