So I have another theory on mini-vans. I think the mini-van was designed in hell and sent to this world to take human life. Every mini-van i come across on the road has this strange desire to take me out and kill me! It must be getting closer to my time. This morning on my way to work i was in the turn lane farthest out and for some reason the mini-van in the lane next to me decided that staying in his lane around the turn wasn't very fun so came into my lane and almost wiped me out.
Mini-vans are just dangerous! Its not just the elderly or the Moms who make these vans dangerous. Its anyone who gets behind the wheel. I was driving and this mini-van with teenage girls decided that stopping at the stop sign was a bad idea and almost t-boned me.
All Mini-vans have a small Gnome living inside the engine who emits a powder that disorients the driver and makes their driving more difficult. In some cases the powder even puts the driver in a dream state where they think everything is perfect and dandy but really they are driving horrible!
I mean who really wants to buy a mini-van? They are freaking ugly! I think a small gnome comes to these people in their sleep and puts them in a trance that convinces them to buy a mini-van. My only other thought is the car salesman is possessed by some demonic force and convinces people to buy a mini-van when really they have no desire for a mini-van.
If you see a mini-van on the road be careful...you might be next!
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Okay so this is really funny because Ben has a similar theory. We were driving somewhere one day and I told him that my mom used to drive a mini-van and he said that depending on how long she drove the mini-van she may still be a terrible driver(like there is some sort of horrible mini-van driver still stuck in her). Then I said that I used to drive the mini-van on occasion and he said that I was, when I was behind the wheel, a terrible driver (but because it wasn't super common it didn't follow me around forever). I think this theory can be developed out further. LOVE IT.
ReplyDeleteps- my mom now drives a Chrysler 300. I think she looks like a fool but it's better than a mini-van