I will never stop loving...

Things are interesting. You can never tell how life will turn out and you can never know why they turn out the way they did. For some people they will wander in this fog their entire life not knowing what direction they are heading or for what reasons. I'm pretty dang happy to know the reason I'm here and where I'm going when it's all over. Hopefully it being all over won't be in the near future but I'll take what I can get. Right now there have been many changes in my life and if they are for the better I'm unsure about right now because they are just so recent. I've hurt people in my past and I've been hurt. I've felt happiness and brought happiness to others. The point I'm getting at is that the crazy life we live in is filled with many ups and downs. The ups are great and the downs can seem like the most miserable we will ever be. Luckily though we will never be given more then we can handle. That was promised to us all. It may seem we are unable to handle such circumstances but in the end we will come out better for it. I hope for us all that we hold our heads high and help those in need. There is no better feeling then helping someone in need. I promise. But one thing is for sure. I will never stop loving. Doesn't matter what happens, love will always be a strength to others and yourself. Love one another.

Temperament Report...

Alright well my Grandma wanted me to take one of those tests that tell you what career you would excel in. So today while wasting time at work I took one that told me what type I am.

The test i took was the Keirsey Temperament Sorter -II and it said that my type is Guardian.
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have a natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply-- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.

Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast paced world.

Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.

Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted.


So that's the little response thing it gave me for taking the online test. I think its interesting and pretty spot on. There are some things I don't exactly see as being true to be but for the most part its pretty true. I do believe I'll be doing one of those thankless jobs in my life and look forward for getting started on that.

My life has run into a brick wall

"Life meet brick wall"

So my life has run head first into a brick wall and seems to have not learned from the experience and keeps bashing its head against the wall.

Life just seems to be stuck and not going anywhere. I'm in a bunch of dead end jobs that won't take me anywhere, I'm not dating anyone, and I'm doing to great in school. Where is my life going at this point? No where it seems.

Well here is what I'm thinking...Maybe I can just go to school full time. An option is to go so far into debt in student loans and finish my degree and go for my law degree. Then if I make it through that I'd be making enough to pay my loans off. Another option I been really considering is going into the military. Its kinda an idea I've played with before in the past but it keeps coming up as what I should do. I really been considering it this time. I been praying about it and constantly pondering it and it keeps coming up as what I should do. Interesting fact that I learned while pondering this is President Eyring was in the Air Force. Apparently there are quite a few of the Brethren who have served in the military. So that's an interesting fact to me that they served and have become some of the greatest men on this earth.

This summer I'm gonna be really pushing myself. My goal by the end of the summer is to be running up to 8 miles, 70 push ups, 70 sit ups, and 10 pull ups in a minute. Even if I don't go into the military it'd be good for me to get back into shape. I'm already eating better and trying to get healthier.

Its one thing to be physically healthy but I'm also working on being spiritually healthy. I'm taking an institute class, I'm reading nightly, I'm praying again, and I'm making sure I go to church (even if its alone).

So I may be hitting a brick wall but I'm gonna break on through. Not letting the wall stop me. RAWR!

So on my way to class I was thinking. My Mom and I were talking the other day like we usually do and she said something that didn't really strike me till today. She said, "Steve I don't understand how you do it. You can forgive people pretty quickly even people that I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive." I didn't really understand and didn't think anything of it till now. I guess growing up I just had to forgive and move on or I'd be way down in the dumps. Its all about experiences and living life in every situation. I've definatly had my share of being treated poorly by others but seriously what is the big deal. Yeah someone might be a jerk or destroy me but sometimes its not their fault. Alright well it is their fault for being a total ass but I'm sure there is something going on it their life that makes them so.
I had a lot more to write but sometime in between driving to class and coming back to my recliner i forgot it. SO anywho...I need to write a story again soon. I got a few brewing in my mind.

Welcome in the new year!

2009 is over and now its time to bring in another year. Time magazine has called this decade "The Decade from Hell". It hasn't been easy for many but through theses hard times we have always been able to rely on friends and family. So at the start of this new year take a look at the previous year, do some reflecting, and prepare yourself for the new year. Raise a glass for those who has passed on. Hug the broken hearted. Offer your hand to the fallen. Be grateful for what you have rather than wanting more. Hope everyone has a good year! Happy New Year!

Secondhand Serenade-Stranger

Lyrics to Stranger :
Turn Around
Turn Around and fix your eye in my direction
So there is a connection
I can't speak
I can't make a sound to somehow capture your attention
I'm staring at perfection
take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are

you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight

I'm confident
but I can't pretend I wasn't terrified to meet you
I knew you could see right through me
I saw my life flash right before my very eyes
and I knew just what we'd turn into
I was hopeing that you could see
take a look at me so you can see

you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight

you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight

take a look at me so you can see
how beautiful you are


your beauty seems so far away
I'd have to write a thousand songs to make you comprehend how beautiful you are

i know that I can't make you stay
but I would give my final breathe to make you understand how beautiful you are
understand how beautiful you are

you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
but all these thoughts are leaving you tonight
I'm broke and abandoned
you are an angel
making all my dreams come true tonight

you call me a stranger
you say I'm a danger
you call me a stranger

Why do you hire someone with a criminal record and no one can trust?

So at my oh so lovely job I work with someone with lets say is the most difficult person to work with I have ever encountered. So this guy got mad at me and another employee on Friday because we questioned something he was doing. We just wanted to know what was going on because there is nothing in the account notes. Well he decided to blow up at that and tell the repo agent we were questioning that we had a problem with him. The repo agent asked us if we had a problem and we both said we didn't so the repo agent tells us that the manger said that we had a problem with him. We just said no no its fine don't worry about it. So this other employee of mine calls the manager and asks him whats going on and the manger responds saying he isn't working for Nebo right now and he'll talk to him on Monday.
Well Monday comes around and he pulls this other employee into an office to talk to him. Then he pulls me in to talk to him. I tell him that I don't agree with him, i don't trust him, and that he basically is a crappy manager. Instead of addressing any of the issues I bring up he insteads just says look at my numbers and how good I'm doing. Come to find out my numbers were twice better then what he currently has. But whatever there is no point in bickering who is the better manager. So basically he wouldn't address any of my issues or concerns I had so I said forget it and I walked away with nothing resolved. Now I'm currently looking for a new job.
I called the old Collection Manager who is now a manager of another credit union. He said he'd write me a letter of recommendation to see if that'll help me get a job elsewhere. I even told one of the branch managers I'd come work for him as a teller. At this point I just need to get out of the collection department because I know that manager is doing something and that is why he is getting mad at us questioning him. I just can't figure out what he is doing. So yeah that on top of everything else on my life is just weighing me down. I'm exhausted and have trouble getting out of bed in the morning! So hopefully i can get my life figured out. Thanks for the vent fest blog.